The Stranger

What's up, ladies and gents?

So, today, I'll tell the story of quite possibly our most interesting customer yet. Well, perhaps customer is too nice a word, for she didn't really buy anything. She just kind of came in and made our nights.

So it was Wednesday night, second to last night of my week. I was dish boy, obviously, Joe was cook, Bobby and Sully were bartending and Cory was the buser. I don't believe we had any servers for that night; understandable, as it had been a slow week due to rain and last-minute summer vacations.

So it's early in the night, somewhere between 8:00 and 9:00, and then this woman walks in, smelling of B.O. and displaying signs of being completely nuts, displayed by her dialogue not making any sense and randomly breaking out into song halfway through it. She was a woman in...I want to say early-to-mid-thirties, maybe a little older than that. Not bad looking, really not, brownish-red hair, nice face. The fact that she seemed out of her mind, however, was a put off.

She went into the bathroom for a good fifteen minutes or so, during which time I assume she's washing herself in the sink, as she comes out sopping wet and looking even more deranged. She then begins to tell us her night's story. From what we all heard- both what I heard and what Sully heard- this is the summary:

-She was valedictorian for her class, however long ago that was.
-She is a stripper; not sure how that fits in with valedictorian, but maybe she just fell on some hard times.
-She has had three abortions (I can't account for this one, this is just what Sully said that he heard from her).
-She was going to perform brain surgery on herself...I really don't know what to say on this one. She kept looking at her leg when she said this, though, so maybe she was going to have surgery on her leg?
-She had just that very night tried to propose to a man that was already married.

During this time, she also rambled on about joining some circus or something, I didn't quite understand that part. Add in the fact that she still randomly started singing at weird moments, and I can't account for how much is real and how much is her mind going.

Thank God for Bobby being there. That guy knows how to keep a straight face when dealing with people. He also has a pretty good singing voice, so whenever she started singing, he would join along. So he dealt with her, while Corey and I listened on while trying to keep a straight face. I don't know how much success I'm having, and I'm pretty sure Corey wasn't faring any better.

So she finally goes to sit at the bar with a cup of water while the rest of us gather to talk. Joe and Corey have been videotaping the entire thing, not sure what happened with that footage. At one point they say they're gonna get me laid with her, but I just say the same thing I'd say to anyone: "I don't mess with crazy people."

The whole time we're talking, I can see out of the corner of my eye that she's staring at us, and I know right away that she knows we're talking about her. So while the others are making jokes and such, I'm fairly certain she knew it.

My assumption proved correct as everyone began to break off, and she approaced Bobby, Corey, and myself and said she knew we were talking about her and that she didn't have to stand for it, she was smarter than that. So she stormed off, the bouncer told us that she had driven off, and that was the last we heard of her.

Suffice to say, it was the highlight of our night.

Thinking back on it, I'm not sure if she was drunk or just crazy. Quite possibly a mixture of both, but it's hard to say. I don't know what became of her; hopefully nothing bad.

So that's that. I'm done working full weeks, school is starting back up so I will be returning to campus tomorrow and will be working weekends instead of weekdays. As for future blogs, whatever I can come up with, I'll post.

So, pea soup.